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Away From Home

Thursday, August 25, 2005

The world today's freshmen grew up in

A group of professors from Beloit College has compiled the "Beloit
College Mindset List," which looks at the worldview of this year's
incoming college freshmen. The list is quite interesting, even though
many of them apply to me as well. The list:


• Andy Warhol, Liberace, and Jackie Gleason have always been dead.

• They don't remember when "cut and paste" involved scissors.

• Al Qaeda has always existed with Osama bin Laden at its head.

• Wayne Gretzky never played for Edmonton.

• Boston has been working on the Big Dig all their lives.

• With little need to practice, most of them do not know how to tie a necktie.

• Pay-per-view has always been an option.

• They never had the fun of being thrown into the back of a station
wagon with six others.

• They learned to count with Lotus 1-2-3.

• Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker have never preached on TV.

• "Whatever" isn't part of a question but an expression of sullen rebuke.

• The federal budget has always been more than a trillion dollars.

• Condoms have always been advertised on television.

• They've always had the right to burn the flag.

• Money put in their savings account the year they were born earned
almost 7 percent interest.

• Southern fried chicken, prepared with a blend of 11 herbs and
spices, has always been available in China.

• The Starship Enterprise has always looked dated.

• Pixar has always existed.

• It has always been possible to walk from England to mainland Europe
on dry land.

• They've grown up in a single superpower world.

• They missed the oat bran diet craze.

• American Motors has never existed.

• Les Mis has always been on stage.

• "Baby M" may be a classmate.

• RU-486, the "morning-after pill," has always been on the market.

• Snowboarding has always been a popular winter pastime.

• Biosphere 2 has always been trying to create a revolution in the
life sciences.

• Researchers have always been looking for stem cells.

• They do not remember "a kinder and gentler nation."

• They never saw the shuttle Challenger fly.

• Airports have always had upscale shops and restaurants.

• Black Americans have always been known as African-Americans.

• They never saw Pat Sajak or Arsenio Hall host a late-night show.

• Matt Groening has always had a Life in Hell.

• Salman Rushdie has always been watching over his shoulder.

• Tom Landry never coached the Cowboys.

• The Field of Dreams has always drawn people to Iowa.

• Jimmy Carter has always been an elder statesman.

• Miss Piggy and Kermit have always dwelt in Disneyland.

• "Americas's Funniest Home Videos" has always been on television.

• There has always been a pyramid in front of the Louvre in Paris.


  • Wait, what the hell are Kermit and Miss Piggy doing in Disneyland? Did I miss something? Did that damned mouse lure them in with flies and slop?

    By Blogger Logan C. Adams, at 8/25/2005 11:41:00 AM  

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